What is your favourite martial arts joke?

My mate is an expert at karate. Sadly he was beaten up by three thugs when he was trying to take his socks and shoes off.

What is a pig's favourite Karate technique ?

Pork Chop.

.... groan .. !

I don't have any great one liners, but this is certainly my favorite humorous karate moment:

Here's mine, takes a bit longer.

Two men had trained together for 40 years, attending tournaments almost weekly during all of those years.  One passes away and the other, though saddened by the loss of his friend, goes to a tournament the next weekend.  While changing into his worn gi, the spirit of the man's friend appears to him.  The spirit of the karateka smiles to his friend and tells him, "I have good news and I have bad news." 

The living karateka asks, "What is the good news."

The spirit, "There is karate in heaven."

The karateka replies, "Really?  That's great!  What's the bad news."

The spirit answered, "Your first match is tomorrow and you're up against Gichin Funakoshi."

http://i41.tinypic.com/1z14mqc.jpg

[cartoon by Gary Larsen]

I love his cartoons! Here is another martial arts related one:

Presumably you're all familiar with Mikka Bouzu?

My favourite:

A Texas cowboy walks into a dojo thinking it’s a bar. Upon entering he says, “Well hell I thought this was a bar not a dance class.” This upsets the Sensei who approaches the cowboy and replies, “This is no dance class, this is martial arts dojo!” Then he politely bows to the cowboy. He then takes a stance and throws a sidekick, stopping 2” from the cowboy’s nose and says, “That was side kick from Tae Kwon Do. Then politely bows again. He then throws a lighting fast palm heal strike, again stopping 2” from the cowboy’s nose and says, “That was Tiger Palm from Chinese Boxing, “ and again politely bows. After which there is a loud “PRRINGGG!” The students stare in awe as their Sensei is out cold on the floor. Then the Texas cowboy says, Tell that guy when he wakes up… that was a crow bar from Home Depot.

well here goes

Bob- I've just taken up a new martial art from sweden

Sam - what's it called?

Bob- Ikea-do

Sam- i thought that was from Finland.

Bod - no mate, you must be thinking of Noki-out

i make no apologies

What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink?

WAATTAAAAARRRRRR!

My favourite 'joke' came from an incident a few years ago.

I was out in the States training with Nick Hughes and a with us was a mate called Eddy.

Eddy was an ex Royal Marine and current mercenary and although he was with us at this club, he didn't train in any martial arts at all.

One of the black belts, obviously taking umbrage at Eddy sitting there looking singularly unimpressed with what he was seeing, strode up to Eddy and asked who he was. “Eddy”, came the monosyllabic reply. “What do you train in?” asked the black belt.

“I’m a black belt in Ching Ching” says Eddy.

“Never heard of it” said the black belt at which point Eddy held up his hand like it was a gun , slid the imaginary mechanism back and made a ching ching sound as he pretended to load a bullet into the chamber, and point at the guys head.

Everyone was laughing and he stomped off red-faced and didn’t train for the rest of the session.

Priceless…

I have heard this joke with many different martial arts inserted, so I will just keep it generic and feel free to insert your own art.

Q:  How many karatekas does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  Just one, but then all the rest stand around and say "That's not how MY sensei said to do it!"

"You know, there is a difference between having no-mind and having no-mind."

(: Word Play :)