Why domestic violence victims do not leave (video)

A very interesting video, thanks for sharing Iain.

In the CSEW 2011-2012 a survey of 5882 women showed that in the last 12 months:

3% of 16-59 year old women had experienced sexual assault or attempted sexual assault.

4.2% had been stalked.

4.2% had experienced non-physical / non sexual abuse or threats.

6.3% had experienced some form of domestic abuse.

I always try to cover these kinds of statidtics in my talks to stress that if something happens (or has happened) to a member of the audience they're not alone, there's nothing wrong with them, and that there are professionals out there who can help.

JWT wrote:

I always try to cover these kinds of statidtics in my talks to stress that if something happens (or has happened) to a member of the audience they're not alone, there's nothing wrong with them, and that there are professionals out there who can help.

Hi John,

Thanks for posting those statistics. I’m sure you and others find that those who attend courses and classes like we offer frequently have personal reason to do so and hence the percentages (as alarmingly high as they are) with be even higher within those groups. The chance to be introduced to a support network through self-protection training is obviously a great addition. Thanks for raising this as I’m sure it will give members and visitors something to think about when structuring their own training. Personally, I’ve worked alongside groups like Rape Crisis when teaching in local schools and collages and they can bring things to the table that are very useful, but outside the expertise and remit of us self-protection types.

All the best,

Iain

That's such a good video that I'm thinking of including it in some of my courses.  Thanks again for sharing.

Domestic Violence is an incredibly difficult topic to understand, let alone teach.  Gavin DeBecker covers the subject about as well as anyone.  From an outsiders point of view i.e. the view of friends, family and self-defence instructors, the easiest way for the victim to stay safe is for them to leave their partner.  Unfortunately, from the victims point of view, the easiest and most reliable way of staying safe is to stay WITH the partner, thereby ensuring future abuse, but also ensuring that the victim doesn't die or suffer really serious harm.  As weird as this may seem, the victim thinks that "he hasn't killed me yet, so if I just stay with him, he still won't kill me.  But, if I leave that might make him really mad and he might find me and kill me."   Other people i.e. friends and family invariably don't understand this, the police also don't understand this and get frustrated as well.  The result? The victim feels even more isolated and it is even more difficult for them to leave their abusive partner.  And so the cycle continues.....

Unfortunately I have seen this in action thousands of times and for many years and nobody yet has come up with a reliable way of stopping it in every case.  I personally feel that education and awareness is the way forward and I urge everyone to support the domestic violence support agencies in their area.